Wednesday, December 16, 2015, by Kashay Webb

      This is my cat Roxanne. She is also known as the embodiment of selfishness. If she wants to sleep my bed is her bed. If she wants to run around the house in the middle of the night at 40 mph, my house becomes her jungle. We all could learn a lot from Roxanne.

      Throughout my life I've always had a big heart. I would a lot of time making sure my family and friends were happy and reaching their full potential. I'm just naturally like that. I want everyone around me to do well and to be happy. There was never another way of life for me. My parents taught me to treat others how I wanted to be treated. Following their logic led me to conclude that I have to be selfless because I would want people to be selfless to me. There's two things wrong with that.

      I expected my loved ones to reciprocate my selflessness but I realized that's not how life works. I also realized that if I care about those people I would not want them to be completely selfless like me.
It became apparent to me that my belief was that being selfish is a completely despicable thing to be and it forced my to evaluate one of my core beliefs. In my meditation today it became clear to me that there can be a balance between having a big heart and being selfish. I don't have to go out with friends when I am sick and I also don't have to continue a relationship with a friend or significant other when they are not enhancing my life just because I love them. Being selfish does not mean you do not care about someone, it just means you care about yourself.

      Now when a friend asks me to hang out when I'm sick I will ask them to reschedule instead of being miserable during laser tag. The next time I have a relationship with someone and that friend cannot come with me on my journey because we are no longer vibrating at equivalent frequencies, I have to let them go. To have a healthy life it is imperative that you constantly check your beliefs, even the ones you've held all of your life. 18 years into my life I reevaluated how I perceive selfishness. It doesn't matter how much time I spent thinking that way, it matters what I do with the knowledge I have now. Roxanne will get a quarter of the bed tonight.